It’ s always well worth listening to the other person

The Thinking Anew column in The Irish Times today.

Michael Commane

Professor Mona Siddiqui on the Thought for the Day slot on BBC Radio 4 recently said that whoever lacks kindness has no faith. She went on to say that “kindness is not a water downed piety but essential for living a life of hope and generosity.” Wise words. 

She is a professor of Islamic and interreligious studies and assistant principal religion and society at Edinburgh University. In 2011 she was awarded an OBE for her interfaith work.

Personally I ’m always nervous of those who emphasise doctrine and orthodoxy at the expense of kindness and charity.

So much of the shouting and roaring in our world right now is from people who believe it can only be black or white. If you are not on my side, then you are on the wrong side. On that point, Thomas Aquinas makes the point that the most important of all the virtues is prudence, though he is often misunderstood as being narrowly doctrinally focused.

Many years ago I read Max Frisch’s ‘Andorra’. It left a deep impression on me. It’s a play about cultural prejudice and what happens when we don’t have the ability of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. 

It’s so easy to scapegoat other people, nations and societies, those who differ in any way.  And those ideas crossed my mind reading tomorrow’s Gospel (Matthew 21: 33 - 43) It’s the parable of the tenants killing the master’s servants and his son, who were sent out to collect his produce. 

Jesus quotes Psalm 118 to point out to his listeners that the kingdom of God will be taken from them and given to a people who will produce its fruit: “It was the stone rejected by the builders/that became the keystone./This was the Lord’s doing/and it is wonderful to see.”

Any organisation, church or state that is closed in on itself can’t in the long term survive. Any group of people who believes that the fullness of truth is owned by them alone  surely must end up in a cul-de-sac.

Whether we admit it or not, we are constantly learning from other people. Every day of our lives we learn something new and that in turn opens our minds to other new ideas, new understandings of other people and places. 

Isn’t that one of the wonders of travel, we see something of the customs and way of life of other people. Isn’t all learning an adventure?

When I read tomorrow’s Gospel I was thinking how every day we see protagonists denouncing each other for their particular standpoint and action. It seems as if we always have to have an enemy. There always has to be the bad guy, the scapegoat, the cause of all our troubles.

Tomorrow’s Gospel seems to me to be saying something very different. The Gospel is telling us that anyone who thinks that all right is on their side is missing reality by the proverbial country mile.

The day before writing this column I met a charming young woman, who happens to be ill. After just one hour in her company I realised I was talking to a wonderful human being. I left her room with a spring in my step. 

I know it is always dangerous to presume anything but that day I did presume that that woman most likely had not been inside a church in a long time. I’m fairly sure that she knows nothing about any of the Christian faiths. Does that mean that she is excluded from the presence of God? It would be absurd to say that she is.

The Second Vatican Council gave us all hope that we would learn to walk in one another’s shoes. Today unfortunately, such a spirit is not the flavour of the month. 

As the Council’s influence fades it is no coincidence there is a world out there where everyone is shouting at each other convinced that all right is exclusively on their side.

Let’s pray that the Synod in Rome will make us all sit up and realise the importance of listening to the other person and give us the grace to be more tolerant.