Close encounters with two wise people

This week’s Mediahuis Irish Regional newspapers’ column.

Michael Commane

On the Sunday of the October bank holiday weekend Miriam O’Callaghan interviewed John Clarke on RTÉ Radio 1. I was in the midst of preparing my breakfast, in fact squeezing an orange when this man started talking. I was immediately taken by what he was saying. John is the husband of the late Marian Finucane and he has written a book Finucane & Me: MyLife with Marian, published by Gill Books.

John and Marian had been together for 40 years. He’s now 87 and the interview gave him an opportunity to talk about his life with Marian. He spoke poignantly about the death of their nine-year old daughter Sinéad, who died in his arms and how Marian never recovered from her death.

 

Both are buried close to his house and he always talked to Sinéad when passing the grave but never does now and doesn’t know why he stopped. He tried to explain it by saying that he was annoyed they died before him, it wasn’t meant to happen that way. The mystery of our lives is beyond our understanding.

His father wanted him to be a scientist and his mother hoped he’d be a lawyer but ‘I wanted to be a layabout,’ he quipped.  At 15 he wanted to be an existentialist. He said that he has been searching all his life to discover the purpose of it: ‘What’s the purpose of it all and I still ask the question.’ 

At that stage he quickly added that it has something to do with doing good. He slipped it in quietly and quickly but it made great sense. Right through the interview I certainly got the impression his life was all about being connected with people. 

Miriam reminded him of the charitable work he and Marian had done in the slums outside Cape Town, where they supported over 50,000 children. Listening to the interview I got the impression that he has that great gift of touching people and allowing people to touch him, a person with empathy. He touched me.

Just three days before that interview I had a man here in my house doing work for me. He was recommended by a friend and he did an excellent job.

Besides being a fine craftsman he fascinated me. Maybe better said, we had a lovely encounter. We found ourselves able to talk to each other and I certainly appreciated what he had to say. Our opinions on people and places seemed to be in harmony.

He had a great ability of standing back, looking at the world and knowing very well there was more to it all than power, status and money. In the few hours he was with me over the two days I had this feeling I was in the presence of a wise man. 

I liked his take on the world. He had soul, there was an ease about him that shone bright. I got the sense it all came so naturally to him. He had nothing to prove, no need to.

It’s a great gift to meet someone in whose company you feel at home. The interview with John Clarke reminded me of him. I got the impression both he and Clarke are forever in search of what it is all about. The wonder of the journey of our lives. Every day throws up something new. It’s good to relax in the now and be more comfortable with ourselves on our search.