Praise can drive us on to do even better

This week's INM/Mediahuis Irish regional newspapers' column.

Michael Commane

Anywhere there are people there will of course be disagreements, moments of annoyance and it’s usually the case that there will be some people who get on our nerves.

I am forever mesmerised how at all the world holds together. When you think of it, all eight billion of us are unique, no two people are the same or identical. At least that’s how it is now. 

With scientific develop of Artificial Intelligence we have no idea what lies ahead. 

I may have shuffled off this mortal coil just in time to have missed the ramifications of AI. Who knows?

There’s no perfect society, no perfect family, no perfect workplace. And we all know too well no matter what impressions we try to give of the perfect group, it simply doesn’t exist.

Last week someone annoyed me at work. It wouldn’t be the first time the person irritated me. I felt put down. 

Later that day sitting down having a coffee with a member of staff I told her about how I had been annoyed, adding that I’m not impressed with the person’s attitude. 

My colleague looked at me, smiled. I might even have detected a note of empathy. 

There was silence for a few microseconds before she launched out. She told me the previous weekend she had been down home and was chatting with her sister-in-law and that my name came up. Of course by this stage I was hanging on to every word she was saying. It transpires that her sister-in-law reads this column every week. Not only does she read it but she thoroughly enjoys reading it and it is one of the first things she reads in the paper. I was chuffed. Younger readers will not be aware of what we were told in school - self praise is no praise. Too many teachers did everything conceivable to put us down. 

Honestly, I was delighted to hear that my colleague’s sister-in-law enjoys my column. Isn’t only normal and natural that I should be delighted to hear such news?

I had forgotten all about my earlier annoyance and I said that to my colleague. The wise woman she is, looked at me in a philosophical mode and said isn’t all that part of the jigsaw of our lives. ‘We never know what's around the corner we never know where one situation or one word might lead us. It’s the positive words and deeds that we should hang on to,’ she said.

That makes great sense. It’s so easy to go about moaning and groaning and giving out about this person and that situation. 

And I know that, as I can easily behave in such a manner. But what keeps impressing me is the importance and value of the positive word. When people tell us we do a good job, when we are praised for our accomplishments it simply drives us on to do better. It’s the old adage, success breeds success.

Far too often far too many people are lost, never reach their potential because nobody has whispered into their ear how great they are.

It’s exciting to reach for the stars and no one should ever get in our way. No one.