An eye opener on how sick people feel

This week’s Mediahuis/INM Irish regional newspapers’ column.

Michael Commane

I’ve mentioned it many times in this column that I am a hospital chaplain, indeed, I’m in the job seven years. It’s been a life-changing experience. Every day I learn something new and I certainly hope that I do some good in the job. 

But something happened a few weeks ago that has given me a whole new understanding or perspective about the job. It must be six or seven weeks ago now, indeed, further back that I began to get sick, had a pain in my back, felt nausea and was generally under the weather. 

I had been on a quick weekend visit to Kerry to swim in the Atlantic and on the way home on the train, a journey that I usually enjoy, I felt sick. I just wanted to get home and go to bed.

I thought it would pass but it didn’t and eventually some weeks later I found myself in hospital, where I spent five days. I had a kidney infection. I’m due to have surgery the beginning of October and in the meantime I’m left walking about with a catheter inserted. Not pleasant. But, there’s nothing seriously wrong  with me and all will be well.

Come late October, early November I hope to be back cycling, swimming and walking in the hills. But looking back now on the last few weeks, especially the time in hospital and the days following I have no problem mentioning I had moments of difficulty. 

My imagination ran riot  with me. I  knew there was nothing sinister or malign with my illness but I felt uneasy and disorientated. I had been taken out of my daily routine. Life was uncomfortable. I simply wanted to bury my head in the pillow. I’m a worrier and panic very easily. My illness gave me the perfect opportunity to panic and worry all at the same time.

Without exception the staff who cared for me while in hospital were all wonderful people. But there was one young nurse and she really stood out and she was such fun as well. It turns out that she’s an accomplished violinist. But so humble and nothing was a problem for her.

I’m back at work this week and it has dawned on me, no matter how understanding or kind I am to a patient I really have little idea how they must be feeling, how they must be worried and nervous about their health. 

What must it be like for people who discover they have serous or terminal illness?  I’m forever mesmerised with the resilience of people. I’ve seldom if ever encountered a patient who is angry or hopeless about their condition.

With my own short spat with discomfiture I think I’ve had a tiny glimpse of what ill-health might be like. I know Irish Rail and Aer Lingus have simulators for training their drivers and pilots. 

What better training or preparation could there be for a hospital chaplain than some sort of simulator. AI might be able to come up with a solution? There’s an idea now for those training hospital chaplains, indeed for all those involved in the health profession.

I’ve had a whole new insight how to approach my job. I hope it’ll make me a better chaplain. We can never have enough empathy for the other person.