It's what we do that gives us away

The piece below is the Thinking Anew column in today's Irish Times.

By Michael Commane
It’s relatively easy to write high-flown prose about what it means to love someone. It’s easy to talk about commitment, dedication and heroism. But it is something altogether different to live out these virtues or characteristics in our own lives.

It scares me to think how I would have behaved had I been born in Germany at the beginning of the last century. What would I have done had I been a young man in Northern Ireland in the 1970s and ’80s?

It’s easy to praise the deeds of good and brave people. From afar it’s as clear as day that the Franciscan Maximilian Kolbe, who volunteered to die in place of a stranger at Auschwitz, was a brave man, and all sensible people are bound to admire him for what he did.

Some years ago a friend of mine argued strongly that there is no such thing as altruism. He believed that it is impossible to do a completely selfless act. There is certainly something in that. But surely it’s not the full picture.

In tomorrow’s Gospel Jesus tells his listeners that their love for one another will be a real sign that they are followers of his. He tells them it is a new commandment he is giving them. (John 13: 31 – 35)

The ultimate question: what is love?
Men and women tell each other, at times with ease, that they love one another. Some men seem to be able to say the word at the drop of a hat, five minutes after seeing a woman. Maybe women seem to be cannier and more cautious and actually know far more about the ramifications of the word.

Priests in sermons can throw the word about too, turning it into a cliché and losing all meaning.

Of course when we mention the word love we think of falling in love, we think of all the wonderful things that it means to love and be loved. It’s the theme that keeps us in thrall to the worlds of film and music.
Maybe we do know when we see someone who loves. It might well be a dangerous word to use. We might tend to be flippant with it but when we see the young wife, who visits her paralysed husband every day in hospital, we know we are coming close to what the word is about.

The daily grind, the sacrifice that mothers and fathers make to ensure their children are cared for and nurtured in the best possible way. Adult children who care for their elderly parents, who have become ghosts of what they were in the past.

Fortunately, most of us are never called to follow in the steps of Fr Maximilian Kolbe but every day we have the chance to do something that will enhance the life of another person.

Former US President Bill Clinton will be forever remembered for his comment, “It’s the economy, stupid”. People who say they follow Christ need to be reminded on a daily basis that “it’s love” that earmarks us for who and what we are. Everything else is secondary and by a long way too.
Just last week a woman suggested to me that when I am out and about I should go out of my way to smile at elderly people. “We have no idea how lonely and alone people can be, especially older people. A smile from you and me can mean so much to them. It can give them a great security too.”

The woman who said that to me is strongly opposed to all forms of organised religion.

The words in tomorrow’s Gospel spring to mind. “I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”