Wars unleash a terrible anger that lasts for generations

This week’s Mediahuis Irish regional newspapers’ column.

Michael Commane

Have you ever felt misunderstood as a result of something you said and then simply unable to undo the damage?

I got chatting to two people in a coffee shop. They were mother and daughter. When the daughter told me she was still at school I asked her was she studying German. She replied in good German. 

They had lived for five years in Düsseldorf. There were only two other people in the cafe. They heard us talking German and one of them, smiling said it must be a little German-speaking club as she was from Austria. 

We had great banter and fun between the five of us. The mother of the daughter told me she and her daughter were Ukrainians and she was living in Ireland for 20 years. 

We got talking about the war and I in all innocence and probably stupidity said that unfortunately I could not see Ukraine winning the war. I pointed out that Russia had vast resources, both manpower and militarily and I was worried what the incoming US government might do. 

I had touched a nerve. The woman exploded, her face dramatically changed to anger. Moments earlier we were all smiling, having great fun. The girl’s mother was now exceedingly annoyed with me. She shouted at me, that next week her brother was heading to the front to fight for Ukraine. Her daughter stood there silently, maybe not knowing what to say. 

I tried to explain that I was hoping for a Ukrainian victory but I simply could not see how Ukraine could defeat the might of Mother Russia. I think it was that expression that upset the woman. I could hear her angrily repeating what I had said: ‘the might of Mother Russia’. 

She stormed out of the cafe. She was upset, indeed, in a rage. And I too was upset and felt I was completely misunderstood. There was nothing I could do. I was stuck to the floor, feeling stupid and powerless. I was annoyed with myself for what I had said. A few pleasant enjoyable moments had turned into a horrible experience. 

As the crow flies it is approximately 3,000 kilometres from Ireland to Ukraine. What must it be like for the people in Ukraine? What must it be like between the Ukrainian and Russian soldiers fighting each other on the front line as they kill and maim each other? 

There are no words to describe the hatred that has been unleashed. Pandora’s Box has been torn open and the death and damage that has been released has created great evil. How is it all going to end? 

Who is going to stop this war? And stop, it will someday but the damage that it is doing right now and will continue to do to future generations is enormous. 

Someone, somehow please help end this war and yes, pray that civility can return to all our hearts. The world needs good, honest leaders, who are wise and kind, who are genuinely interested in the people they are meant to serve. I hope the Ukrainian woman whom I upset is now in a better state. I wish I could meet her to apologise.