It’s no laughing matter being in a dark place, feeling down

This week’s column in The Kerryman newspaper.

Michael Commane

Over the years I have often written in this column about how frustrating it can be attempting to speak to a human voice when calling some facility or other. I’ve often been left waiting more than 10, 15 minutes to speak to an agent.

This Friday, November 7 is the deadline for submitting Local Property Tax (LPT) returns.

Last Thursday I happened to hear some mention of the deadline approaching on radio and television. I began to panic. Yes, I had received the letter from Revenue but put it aside on the day, intending to deal with it later, and then forgot about it.

Have you ever noticed when you are down, feel depressed, can’t do anything, that it is so easy to worry about the smallest things you have to do; everything takes on a significance away beyond its reality. 

In some ways I’m slow to say this but in recent weeks I’ve been in a dark place; found myself wondering what everything is about, indeed, that terrible feeling of failure. Half jokingly, half seriously I say to myself there are advantages in being superficial; it helps to move relatively easily from a dark to a somewhat brighter place.

Being in a dark place makes one, it certainly makes me, more conscious of what it must be like for people who suffer all forms of psychological health issues. 

Note, I didn’t call them mental health issues; that frightens me.

There are times when in a dark place it’s close to impossible to communicate with people, you simply shut yourself off from the world. But sometimes a kind or sympathetic word can open a curtain. How can kindness go astray?

It’s difficult to deal with the day-to-day business when down and depressed and it was in that mood I happened to hear the warnings about paying my LPT by November 7. More panic. 

I use a computer most days of my life; I’m not saying I’m a whizkid but it’s one of my work tools. And yet when it came to completing the LPT on line I felt incapable of doing it. I was even scared to phone the number at the top of the letter. I eventually decided to call 01 - 738 3626. 

Of course I was kept waiting, was this just to annoy me? Eventually I got through to Greta. I did not tell her the full story but I did say I was confused by it all. She could not have been nicer, we began to chat, even a few jokes were exchanged. 

What a skill this woman had. Having given her my Property ID and PIN, she opened my file and told me she could do it all for me right there and then over the phone. What a relief it was. Will she ever know how she helped me and in more ways than one. And top marks to Revenue for having a person of Greta’s calibre at the other end of a phone line.

Do we ever know what’s going on in another person’s head? No, and that surely means we need to treat one another with care and empathy. We really need to try. I know that and to my shame I don’t always do it.