A kind word can work wonders

The Thinking Anew column in The Irish Times today 

Michael Commane

A positive word goes a long way. It’s nice to be told you have done a good job.

In tomorrow’s Gospel (Luke; 2: 22, 39, 40) we read that the child Jesus “grew to maturity, and he was filled with wisdom; and God’s favour was with him.”

I went into journalism at a relatively older age. I was 48 when I got a job working as a subeditor in The Kerryman newspaper. It was all new terrain for me and naturally I was nervous, maybe even frightened in the job for the first few months. 

Along as working as a subeditor I began writing a weekly column for the paper. It was something I enjoyed doing. It entailed going around to villages in County Kerry and chatting with those who were not the usual suspects. I stayed away from all the so-called important people. It was most enjoyable. 

When the piece appeared in print I’d be like a child wanting to read it, and checking too to see was it okay. It was a busy newsroom, the editor was a great newspaperman. I think you could say he was flamboyant and certainly did not suffer fools easily.

On one particular Friday on leaving the office he came over to me and said he had enjoyed reading my column and that he thought it was well written. 

That’s over 20 years ago and I can still remember his saying that to me. I was delighted with myself. I was new to the job and had little or no confidence in myself. Those words of the editor that day have stayed with me. At the time they gave me a great fillip.

It’s been a good lesson for me.

I’m old enough to remember different times, different experiences, times when the wisdom was that children should be seen and not heard and should only speak when they had been spoken to. 

We are fortunate to live in different times. To listen to the stories of children when they come home from school these days is heart warming.

In tomorrow’s Gospel we read that God’s favour was with Jesus. Surely that’s meant to be a template for all of us, for all our children, indeed for all human beings, for all God’s creatures. How can we read those words and allow what is happening in so  many parts of the world right now? Israel, Palestine, Ukraine, Yemen, Somalia.

Every evening on our television screens we see people, adults and children being brutalised, being killed. 

How can those victims feel they are favoured by God? 

They can’t and who is responsible for that?

In the days leading up to Christmas a young man, 

who murdered a woman, used foul language in court when he realised that the Court of Appeal was not going to reduce his detention term.

On reading his case I discovered he was a drug addict as were his parents. Not for a moment am I saying that we are not responsible for our actions but I do know that when we feel favoured by other people, when we feel recognised and appreciated we have a far better chance of handling the turmoil that life can throw at us.

When our environment is pleasant and kind we naturally have a better chance of being pleasant and kind people.

If I could genuinely believe and indeed accept that God loves me wouldn’t I be a far better person?

We are still in the season of Christmas. It’s the time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, whom Christians believe is the Son of God. 

It’s custom and practice at Christmas that we kneel in front of the crib and pray. This year we’d do well to pray for all those who are disrespected, brutalised and killed. Our prayer, liturgy, religious ceremonies, must always complement our concern for those in need and trouble. May 2024 be a kind year for all of us but may it be particularly kind to those who are victims of violence and terror.

It is a wholesome practice to kneel at the crib, provided we also show respect and reverence to our fellow human beings, whoever they are and wherever they are. Remember, a kind word can work wonders.

Kind words, compliments, words of support, especially to the downtrodden can genuinely work miracles.