Good idea to treat others as we would like them to treat us

This week's Independent News & Media Irish regional newspapers' column.

Michael Commane

In this column last week I wrote about a bad experience I had in a hospital. 

Since then I have spent 10 days in a Kerry hospital. It was like moving from darkness to light. 

In the first hospital I felt humiliated. It was a matter of protecting myself against bad behaviour. It was as if I was constantly under siege and never for one moment did I feel the possibility of being at ease.

Whosever fault it was, I felt stupid and anxious for the entire six hours I spent in the hospital.

I left the place psychologically bruised, nervous too. For the first time in my life I had a bag strapped to my leg. When you are not accustomed to something, surely it is inevitable that you are anxious. It might well be that there is no need for one to be so anxious. A steadying word, a word of advice and assurance, that all would be okay, would have gone a long way in making me feel at ease. But I never heard any such words.

The moment I arrived in the Kerry hospital I was welcomed with open arms. 

During my 10-day stay I experienced nothing but kindness and indeed attention. Any questions I asked were answered and answered in such a way that I understood what was being said to me.

In the days leading up to surgery of course I was a little nervous but all those sorts of reactions and feelings were totally assuaged by the people in whose care I was. And that included everyone, those who made my bed, the surgeon, the anaesthetist, the nurses, those who brought my food, the cleaners, who always enjoyed a good sense of humour.

I’ve been looking back on the experience and thinking about how we all connect and disconnect with one another.

Every actor, every sportsperson will say that they are only as good as their last performance. No one, no institution can ever relax and lie back on their laurels.

These days most companies and institutions have Human Relations departments. Over the years in the various places I have worked it has often struck me that HR departments need to play a far more active role in making sure there is a good and healthy atmosphere across the organisation. 

It’s all in the name. The purpose of a HR department is to ensure for good relationships among employees and between employees and management. Far too often HR is seen exclusively as the department that hires and fires.

Might it be that HR departments are far too beholden to management, in which case, they lose the purpose for their being?

It’s important that the individual is always treated with respect and decency. When we feel we are respected and treated in a correct and proper manner, it’s then that we will perform at our best.

It has been interesting these last two weeks observing how we react to how other people deal with us and how they treat us. And most normal people behave accordingly and in proportion to how they feel they are being treated.

So much of our opinions and views of our life experiences, the places we’ve been, the jobs we have done, depend on our relationships with other people.

Invariably, we like a city or country because of the people we meet there.

St Matthew spells out the golden rule: “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you.’ (Matthew 7: 12)