Sometimes we seem surprised when people thank us

The piece below appears in this week's INM Irish regional newspapers.

By Michael Commane

At lunch last week I was chatting to a colleague, who had been working in New York up to a month ago. She is an Irish woman, who has moved back to Dublin with her husband.

Since her return she has been surprised by the 'roughness' of Dublin. "I'd never been nervous or in any way intimidated walking around New York but since coming back to Dublin there have been times when I really have been scared," she said.

She also feels that there has been a significant downward spiral during her five years out of Ireland.

It was interesting listening to her views and it did generate a lot of conversation at our table.

Later that same day I went to visit an elderly man, who had been admitted by ambulance to a Dublin hospital. I asked at the reception where he was.

At first the receptionist directed me to A&E but she thought for a second, checked the computer and told me he had been admitted to a ward. I had been struck with her approach. She was both friendly and helpful. Also, she had time for me.

Going up in the lift I was eavesdropping on two men talking about their experiences in prison. I got chatting to them and they were most friendly. We shared a laugh.

Twenty minutes later on leaving the hospital a frail woman in a wheelchair asked me if I would wheel her out to the avenue where she could have a smoke. It took me a moment or two to understand what she was saying, but once I got the message I began to wheel her out to the open space.

And just as I was passing the receptionist I quietly asked if it were ok to do what I was doing. My receptionist friend positively nodded in a most discreet and diplomatic manner.
Once outside, the lady in the wheelchair lit up and I was off. But just as I was about to get up on my bicycle, I decided to go back into the hospital reception and thank the receptionist, who had at all times been helpful, kind and I'd say too, very professional, in how she dealt with all my queries and activities.

I had to wait a moment as she was talking to someone. As soon as she was finished I thanked her for her help and kindness.

It was all done in a quick fashion and just as I was about to walk off, she asked me if was trying to make some sort of fool of her.

"Are you being serious or are you being cynical?" I went back to the desk and it took me a moment or two to explain that I was being genuine and very serious.

The next day I was back visiting in the hospital. It was the same receptionist, so naturally I went over to her. Both of us laughed and she explained that she actually thought I was being a smart-aleck and trying to make a fool of her.
"I really was so embarrassed when I realised you were being genuine. When I went home I told my husband about what had happened," she told me.

Since my hospital encounter a lot of things have been racing through my head.
We seem to be expecting people to be cruel and nasty to us.

And what a difference it makes when we express words and actions that are kind and friendly.

You know, that could spread like wildfire and wouldn't it be great.

I'll certainly be telling my story to my colleague, who has returned from the US.
A happy Christmas and a prosperous and fulfilling New Year to all readers of this column.